If you are going through a divorce or thinking about a divorce, it is very important that you have realistic expectations of how your divorce case will proceed. Otherwise you may become frustrated with the divorce process and disappointed with your attorney. Most divorce litigants are frustrated with the process because they have unrealistic expectations of what will or will not happen in their divorce. The following pointers can help individuals going through a divorce to avoid feeling frustrated and disappointed:
- Be honest with your divorce lawyer. Lying or omitting information will not help you at all. In fact, it will usually hurt you if your lawyer does not have all the true relevant facts. Do not make your lawyer chase after you for information. Be up front and provide information to your lawyer.
- Organize information for your divorce lawyer. Avoid dropping piles of unorganized documents off at your lawyer’s office. Always make sure documents are clear and complete. Organize assets and liabilities into categories. It is helpful to use a 3 ring notebook with a table of contents so your lawyer has an organized format to quickly look through.
- Avoid using your lawyer as a therapist. While your divorce attorney may care very much about what you are going through, he or she is not qualified to provide therapy. Complaining to your divorce attorney about how unfair the divorce process is will not get you anywhere in the divorce process but will result in higher legal bills. Use your divorce lawyer to handle the legal work and visit a qualified therapist to help you through your emotional adjustment.
- Follow your lawyer’s advice and avoid blaming your lawyer when things do not go your way. You hired your divorce attorney because you value his or her opinion. So it is in your best interests to listen carefully to your lawyer and follow the advice that you are paying for. The Divorce Code is not designed to punish a spouse or to provide an unfair windfall to the other party. Therefore, do not expect to use divorce laws to hurt your spouse or reward yourself. Your lawyer will use the Divorce Code to help you accomplish your goals but sometimes judges make mistakes or view the case differently then you do. Do not expect the judicial system to help you heal emotionally from your separation.